Her
by Lilly Whitlock-Salvatore
Summary: She was at her low point only one person could save her, but he never would. Contains suicide, so if you don't like that, don't read. OOC. Bad at summaries so just read.


She sat curled up in a ball her head in-between her knees her long brown hair a shield around her, trying to protect her from what was happening outside of her mind, she tried to consume herself into her own thoughts but the noises from outside her shield were interrupting her. The angry shouting voices broke through her shield like knives, every word muttered from their mouths feeling like a single knife stabbing into her. She curled into herself tighter and tighter willing herself to disappear from the room but every time her eyes opened and she made herself listen to the sounds around her she heard the voices once again. The man and the woman then left the room slamming the door shut behind them going in different directions, the woman ran up the stairs you could tell by the light footfalls on every step. The only other sound was the car engine leaving the drive and zooming off down the street.

She slowly unfolded herself and looked into the mirror in front of her, her skin was ghost white from the lack of sleep she was getting with big black bags under her eyes making her look even more like a zombie that would be used as a Halloween costume. Her chocolate brown eyes had lost the sparkle and depth they once held and where now just brown and distant, her lips a once unique shade of red/pink where now dry and chapped. Her shoulders hunched over with the weight of the tension within the four walls, her hair hung limp and lifeless when it had once been bouncy, thick waves of chocolate cascading down her back like a waterfall. Tears glazed her eyes and she let them slowly fall down her face creating little slug trails on her skin but nothing bothered her these days all she wanted to do was escape the fighting and the distance.

She stood with her friends the next day, to them she was fine just tired. What could you expect from getting up at 6:30 in the morning every day? She stood with her head down listening intently to their conversation occasionally saying something that would make them laugh and she would try and smile at her joke but her lips wouldn't allow her to. She walked silently behind them not even her footsteps made a noise, now she was the quiet one. Once the lively, bubbly girl that would always be smiling and laughing and lighting a room up with her jokes, personality and witty comments, now she kept her head down keeping her eyes trained on the floor and only put a few comments in every so often. She felt distant from her friends like she had been locked out of their house on a cold winter night with nowhere else to go but to sit outside the house on the porch.

She watched as the boy walked past her oblivious to her presence she might as well have been invisible for all the interest he took in her, she walked behind him and took her place in the class behind him, sitting down and resting her chin in her hands and staring holes into the back of his head willing him to turn round and at least utter one single word to her, but she knew things had changed. A few years ago he would have turned around laughed and talked to her not caring if it got him in trouble, she would then go home and run straight to her laptop and switch it on, it wouldn't go fast enough for her impatient personality and as soon as she was on the internet they would be resuming their conversation from earlier in the day. But then that day came. The day where every girl realises they fell in love with their best friend. The day that the best friend finds out and pretends like they don't care and everything can still be normal. The day where your friendship turns to dust on the floor. After that day he ignored her, every so often uttering just a few words to her, but not speaking to her at all if he could avoid her.

Even at her haven she felt shut out with nobody to turn to, the place where she was supposed to feel the best it had slowly turned to be the worst place she could be, the thing that used to turn her mood from sad to happy had made her even more depressed and drawn into herself, but she couldn't give up something that had been her life, because then she would disappoint the people that loved her, so she persevered through the pain of dancing. She would stand at the back and learn the dances and as soon as the class was dismissed she would be out the door like a bullet not being able to stand another second in the suffocating air of the room, she still carried on doing the competitions that she had once put her body, mind and soul into and had worked so hard to come back with the first places, but now she still won but now it didn't mean anything to her except the extra room the trophies were going to take up and that she would have to see them every time she walked into the four walls of her house that she classed as hell.

She turned the key slowly in the door letting it unlock before stepping into the house dropping her bag to the floor with a loud thud and taking her coat off to place on the back of the chair. The woman was at work and the man would be in a deep sleep on their bed upstairs, today would be the perfect time to do it. The day she would do it. After a year of living a life that consisted of nightmares every night so you would have to stay awake every night just to escape them. A life of where you didn't exist to other people. A life where everything you did didn't bring you happiness. A life where the boy you loved so deeply it hurt didn't even acknowledge you. A life where you didn't achieve anything even though you were getting the top grades, and the teachers and the people that pretended to love you were actually proud to call you theirs.

But a life where you didn't even know who you was anymore, you were the person everybody else was scared to ever become. The girl who couldn't be brought back from the edge, nothing could help her, except that one person who would never help her. The people closest to her didn't even realised she had gone they were too distracted by other things. This was the day where everything would change, and it would change forever.

She opened the drawer and grabbed what she needed before slowly creeping up the stairs to the bathroom where she retrieved her other item that would help her complete the task at hand. She entered her bedroom softly shutting the door behind her as she sat at the desk she put her pen to the paper writing everything she had locked up inside her for the last year, it spilled from her like an endless stream she finally came to a stop looking over her note. She moved to her bed and crossed her legs and relaxed against the blood red wall, it was the most relaxed she had been in a long time, as she slowly opened up the bottle and tipped the contents into her mouth and she swallowed quickly taking a large gulp of water to make sure the contents didn't come out. Her hand felt around on the bed until she found the second object and dragged it across her wrists, she relished in the sweet pain that was caused by it as she looked down at her handiwork as the red poured from her like a waterfall matching the walls around her. She smiled at nothingness. Finally she had found her happy place as she slipped into the black blanket that welcomed her in.

Her eyes flew open and she was back in the room again, she opened her mouth to scream out in frustration that her well devised plan out of life hadn't worked but that's when she really looked at what was happening in front of her, the sound caught in her throat. Her own body lay on the bed limp and lifeless with red pooled around her she looked peaceful, asleep almost, but if that was her body what was she doing here looking at herself? She didn't have time to get lost in her thoughts as the woman she used to call mum years ago barged into the room and stopped unmoving when she saw the small petite body on the bed. The woman screamed at the top of her lungs and fell to the ground with a thud, as the man came running to her to see what was happening he saw the body too and wrapped his arms around the woman. It was the first time she had seen the man and woman have contact other than hitting each other occasionally in their arguments; the woman took the girls note into her shaky hands and read it to the man between her heaving sobs before she curled up into a ball just like the girl used to. The girl watched the scene play out, somebody had finally noticed her, but she had to sacrifice her life to be noticed. She left the room not wanting to watch the scene play out as the man moved and went back to bed crying himself to sleep and the woman stayed in her dead daughter's room.

All of her friends were having a meal at some body's house, she had turned it down saying she needed to catch up on sleep they had all understood and carried on with conversation, but now they would learn the real truth why she wouldn't go. The call came. The girls' sobs filled the large empty room with sound, all the girls huddled together leaning on each other for support who would be there now to fill their long, boring days with the odd witty comment? But that was all she had become to them of late, somebody to make them laugh, she was almost like a jester for a Queen. She had once been their best friend somebody you could trust with your life somebody who would cheer you up when you where at your low point, but where had they been when she had been at her low point? They had been talking about the new male student who was making his rounds on the girls.

She didn't want to go to the next person but she had to, she had to go and see him. She watched as he walked home that day after finding out the news, he kept his head down and his hands in his pockets, she watched as he walked upstairs and went to the bathroom locking himself in. That's when the reaction came that hurt her the most. He fell to his knees, and screamed in agonizing pain as tears poured down his face like rain, he was shouting up at the sky asking for her back and regretting ever letting her go. He could have brought her back from the edge. Tears poured from her own eyes with every word that fell from his mouth, his blue eyes glazed over with tears, his honey blond wavy hair a mess atop his head as his hands raked endlessly through it. He blamed her death on him, but she knew he was just one element of her death there could be a thousand people to blame for where she was now.

Then came the heartbreaking ending as she watched him grab the scissors and cut ribbons into his arm making it look like a piece of beautiful artwork in the most grotesque way. She screamed and pleaded at him not to do it, but she wasn't able to stop him as he carried on slashing with scissors, she reached to grab the weapon from his hands but she couldn't her hands went straight through him, she truly was invisible now. He was ending his own life to be with her. Something she had always wanted, to be with him. But not in this way, she didn't want him to do it, her tears created a puddle on the ground as she carried on watching. She couldn't move. She couldn't stop watching. She had caused this. She watched as he breathed one last heavy breath as he fell against his radiator his face dead of emotion, just like their friendship had been, dead of any emotion. She turned to walk away the tears still falling heavily soaking her white shirt, when she saw him in the distance waiting for her she ran to him and jumped on him, holding him close never wanting to let go of the body that was underneath hers.

She could finally be with the one person who made her.


End file.
